Not So Wicked Stepmother.

I don’t want this to be another typical open letter to a stepmom. It’s been done, and done well: An Open Letter To My Daughter’s Stepmom. I just want to highlight another real feeling moms have when another woman spends time with our precious angel babies: JEALOUSY.

I met my ex half way between Dallas and Tulsa on Saturday so the girls could spend a couple of nights with he and his wife before summer school and summer camps start. A four-hour round-trip drive was not ideal for my Saturday, but it could have been worse… Could have been 8 hours.

When we meet, it’s always cordial and friendly; “How are you? How’s the new baby? How’s work?” etc. Our children only know us as friends, and that’s the way it shall remain. I’m eternally grateful for our being able to handle this whole broken home thing like adults… it wasn’t always that way. I’ve had my moments. Moments that I am not proud of nor do I care to revisit. Let’s just say it was an adjustment, at first. I will never forget the day he pulled up to my house to pick up our kids in your black Mercedes… with you in the front seat.

Here we are, like eight years later, and life is good. During their visit this weekend, you took my girls on a shopping date. In Dallas. Like, all day. Y’all did girly things like mani/pedis, shopping, ice cream, and Panda Express.

I was jealous.

I was jealous that I can’t always ever afford to do those things with them. I was jealous because even though I may not be very girly, I still enjoy those things. I was jealous because you are younger and more fun and relatable and relevant. I was jealous because… it’s a natural emotion, and it’s okay.

One thing I’m not though, is bitter. I am so thankful for you. I appreciate your added perspective into their lives. I’m happy that they get the best possible outcome of their situation. I’m relieved you are a constant and that they don’t have to experience a revolving door. I’m overwhelmed with your patience and understanding for children that aren’t really yours. I’m indebted to you for always loving them and showing it. I’m pleased that their daddy chose a woman who treats them like the blessings they are.


Thank you for spoiling the girls this weekend… and always. Thank you for sharing this job with me. Thank you for offering a balance that they benefit from. Thank you for being on this team with me.



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