Beanie.

Written January 4, 2010:

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with you. I took TWO tests just to make sure! I was only 19 years old, and so scared of how much you would change my life.

Little did I know… you would become my life.

I will call you Beanie for the rest of your life… and just so you know, I had to fight for that one! From the second I saw your face, I started calling you Beanie and I don’t know why. No one wanted me to call you that, but I didn’t care. Before long, everyone who knew you, knew you as Beanie.

Some days, I see myself in your every move… your every word… your every little mood swing. Other days, I see the little lady you are growing into so very quickly, and it scares me to death! I recently witnessed you blush because of a boy, and then flirt with him. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! I don’t want you to grow up yet…

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Little Lessons

Written October 28, 2010:

Today I get home from work and I see Brennen, my 9 year old, standing in the garage talking to Kelly. By the look on both of their faces, it was a heavy conversation. We were in a rush because it was 4:22 and cheer practice starts at 4:30….. (and we’re still in the driveway) that I didn’t really have time to ask Kelly what was going on.

Brennen slowly walks to the Tahoe, gets in, buckles up, and looks forward with huge tears in her eyes. You remember how when you were sad or hurt, it was soooo much worse when you finally got to mom? LOL… this was obviously the case.

We had about a 5 minute drive ahead of us.

I start… “Brennen, what’s going on?”

She instantly breaks down and tells me everything… like it was killing her to hold it in.

She tells me that the day before, 4-5 of her friends on the bus dared her to throw another little girl’s cool Halloween hand sanitizer out the window.

A) She KNOWS this is against the rules.

B) She knows it is wrong to take anyone else’s things, period.

She explained, sobbing, that these were the “cool, popular” kids. That she didn’t want to look like a wuss or “not cool” by not doing the dare. (*** PARENTING LESSON 101 – If Little Johnny dares you to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge just because he is going to… do you do it?***) She explains that she DID thrown this little girls hand sanitizer out the window. She tells me that someone told the little girl it was her and the little girl told on her today. She says that the bus driver, Mr. Little, confronted her and that she LIED to him. She said that the same kids that dared her……. then ratted her out to save themselves.

This is just full of lessons, isn’t it?!

THEN………….. bawling, she tells me how bad she feels for lying to him and how sorry she is that she took this little girl’s hand sanitizer and threw it away.

My child has a conscience! Amen!

I hardly have to say anything at all, and Brennen tells me that she wants to tell Mr. Little the truth, even if it means getting in trouble. AND THEN, she tells me that she wants to give Olivia HER hand sanitizer that is just like the one she threw out the window. (This is her special Bath and Body Works, warm vanilla hand sanitizer in the glittery pink case that her step-mom bought for her on their special trip to Six Flags a couple weeks ago.)

Oh my goodness, I teared up immediately! I was so proud of her! We still went over the lessons learned here, step by step, but she is in no trouble at all and I can’t wait until tomorrow when she comes home to tell me how it went with both of them.

Weird. Because Normal Isn’t Working.

Written April 4, 2011:

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction., and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. Matthew 7:13-14

  • If you want what normal people have, do what normal people do.
  • If you want what few people have, do what few people do.

DON’T THINK LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE THINK.

Don’t live any longer the way this world lives. Let your way of thinking be completely changed. Then you will be able to test what God wants for you. And you will agree that what He wants is right… Romans 12:2

Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking! Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out! Romans 12:2

WEIRD teaches you to think differently about:

  • time
  • money
  • relationships
  • sex
  • values

DON’T LIVE LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE LIVE.

So, what does WEIRD mean to you?  

To me, it’s a concept. Is doing what is normal really working in your life? If being normal means stress about finances, or trying to live a Godly life only when someone is looking, etc., but being WEIRD teaches you to THINK and ACT differently about time, money, relationships, sex, and values… then I am striving to be weird. 🙂

 Because normal isn't working. Ask me about it!!

Because normal isn’t working.

The Proposal

Written August 31, 2009:

The week of August 24, 2009 was quite a week at work for me.

I literally bawled my eyes out over every tiny, little, ridiculous thing that I’d been through that week when I got home Wednesday night. I had my face under my pillow, on my bed as Kelly laid next to me and attempted the ultimate test – to get me to talk.

Like almost every day in our lives, I knew Thursday was going to be crazy busy.

– We both worked until 5pm.
– I had a hair appointment at 5pm.
– Kelly had a show on Friday night, so the band was loading in on Thursday night at 7pm.
– I had to be home from getting my hair done by 7pm so Kelly could leave, but had to be at my second job by 8pm.

As I’m sitting in the chair getting foiled up, Kelly texts me and it says – “Are you still stressed out today?” I think to myself that this poor guy has put up with all of my crying and mood swings the last couple days, so I text back and say “Naaaaa!” He texts back, “Good! When’s the sitter coming?” I reply that she will be there about 7:45 and remind him to remind the kids to do their chores. He simply replies, “Ok.”

The time is now about 6:55, and I know that I have to get this bleach washed out of my hair and get out of there within the next few minutes. I didn’t have time for my haircut, but I figure I can just come back. So, I run out of there, hair dripping, and hustle home. I call Kelly on the way – cause that’s what we do… we’re disgusting like that… you know when you have to talk on the phone to the place you’re going, then while you’re in the place, then on your way home from said place??? Yeah that’s us… Anyway, I call Kelly and he’s like – “Okay, where are you? Hurry up.”

I walk in the door at 7:05pm… it’s silent. I’m like uhhhh….. where are my kids, haha. I walk around the corner and see Kelly standing at the table dressed to kill. I was like, “WHOA DUDE!!! Why are you dressed like that?!” Now, I have been with Kelly for 2 years and I have NEVER seen that boy lookin’ so fly, ever.

He grins from ear to ear and says, “I have good news and I have bad news, which do you want first?”
I say, “Where are the kids?”
He says, “I have good news and bad news – WHICH DO YOU WANT FIRST?!”
So, I say, “Bad.”
He tells me, as he looks at his phone for the time, that I have about 45 minutes to get ready, but the good news is that I do not have to work tonight, the kids are already at the sitter’s house, and he is taking me on a date since I’ve had such a horrible work week!

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Sun Stand Still. My Testimony.

Written March 20, 2011:

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20

I took lots of notes during Steven Furtick’s sermon, Sun Stand Still, this weekend at Lifechurch.tv. I enjoyed it so much that I went twice.

I want to share a few points that reached into my chest and grabbed onto my heart like a child reaching for his mother after a bad dream.

PUT YOURSELF IN A PLACE OF HUMILITY.

Pray BOLDLY!!! Pray so that if God weren’t to come through for you, YOU look stupid. God isn’t insulted by our BIG requests… He’s insulted by our small ones. Be still and know how BIG our God is!

GOD CAN DO MORE IN A MOMENT OF FAVOR THAN YOU CAN DO IN A LIFETIME OF FIGHTING.

If you’re going to pray that the sun will stand still, you better be prepared to march all night!

Just recently, within the last 2 weeks as a matter of fact, God delivered me in the midst of a battle that I shouldn’t have even been fighting!

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Flat Croissants

Written February 24, 2015:

“The beauty of transparency is that, whenever you take the plunge to being transparent yourself, others in your presence will find their hearts opening as well – uncontrollably! Rather than thinking that being transparent is a risk, you understand the intimacy payoffs of revealing your true self.”

My five year anniversary is in a couple days and I’ve been wanting to gush and gag you all with lovey-dovey posts and pictures about how awesome my marriage is and how wonderful my husband is, but I’ve held back because honestly, I can just be TOO open most times. Some people are so very private and look down on transparency, but I guess there’s just a part of me that enjoys  sharing special things… my heart, my children, my struggles. That being said, I came across a quote from Unveiled Wife this morning and it encouraged me to share how plainly awesome my Monday night was.

As you all know, we have a new addition at our house. While he is the sweetest little blessing to our family, it’s still hard to get up at 3am with him. We’re tired, y’all. We’re two months in and we’re making it just fine, but it’s an adjustment! Yesterday, it snowed ALL DAY. It was gorgeous, but I got to watch it from my office window. When it was time to head home, I had already asked Kelly to go pick him up because the roads were looking scary. That meant I got to pull up at home and NOT have to carry in an 87 pound baby carrier! What did I do with that? Oh, I went straight to my bed! I didn’t even take off my clothes… just kicked off my shoes and got in my bed… at 4:30pm. I was sound asleep when they got home not even thirty minutes later. Now, let me backtrack for a second. Earlier in the day, over lunch, I told Kelly that I was pretty sure school would be cancelled today and we had no food at the house because the grocery fairy hadn’t visited us in a while. (oops!) Meaning – the kids would be there all day with no food and I needed to go to the store! Okay, back to my nap… When Kelly got home with Baby Jaxx, he had a truck full of groceries! Wow! Way to go, husband! Just steadily racking up the points! Took me to lunch even though he had plans – 1. Went grocery shopping all on his own – 1. (He says that’s so I wouldn’t give him a list 😉 Picked up Baby Jaxx for me – 1. Of course, I got up and got Jaxx out of said 87 pound carrier while the rest of our crew unloaded groceries. What is this I notice?! He was super sleepy! Hmmm… nap time! I put him right into his crib and went straight back to my bed. I figured he’d nap for thirty minutes or so and then I’d join the world, but at that moment, all I could think about was falling back asleep. Then I hear it… the sweet sounds of my darling baby over the monitor that is shining so bright right in my face. I look at the clock and it’s EIGHT PM! Holy moly! We’d “napped” for over three hours! Then I get a whiff of what smells like spaghetti from the kitchen. I drag myself out of bed and down the hall to see my wonderful husband standing at the stove cooking dinner! I mean to tell you – he has never looked more attractive! There are croissants on the counter and my first thought was how adorable it was that they were rolled the wrong way! Oh my gosh, I am in love with him!

I don’t exactly know how this might encourage someone, but if there are any husbands reading this, just know that it doesn’t matter if the croissants are rolled the wrong way… it’s little things like this that make us love you… more than flowers or jewelry could ever compare. Way to hustle, Kelly Kopp! I love you and I appreciate you!

Smoke Break

It took everything I had to roll out of bed this morning.

Just yesterday I blogged about “being in the moment” and how important that is, but today, this morning… I wanted to remain in the moment that was before my alarm went off at 5:45AM.

I have been so emotional lately. Like, what is wrong with me?! Maybe it’s this season of my life. Maybe it’s just the reality of how tender my heart really is. I just can’t seem to get a grip on how special my life is. It is my most sincere confession that I am overwhelmed daily with the responsibilities in my lap. I take GREAT pride and accountability in the task at hand. It would crush my soul if I ever felt that I could no longer stand at the plate, eyes up, ready for the pitch. I don’t really know why I went with baseball there… I hate baseball. But, you get it. If you don’t take your life head-on, you’re going to get hit in the head with it.

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