Christmas, a few years ago, my husband and I took our kids to Oklahoma City to stay the weekend with his mother. She was a member at Victory, a church I have heard many stories about, as my husband played music there in his youth. They spoke very highly of Victory, and I was excited to finally check it out.
As we pulled into the parking lot, we had to wait as a man and woman were crossing in front of us. My judgmental eyes went directly to her legs because she was rocking some black, leather, thigh-high boots with her miniskirt. She was heading into church… NOT walking the street, as her boots would lead me to believe. I know, right? Pick your jaws up off the table! I don’t think it took a full two seconds for me to blurt out a rude comment about her choice of outfit for Sunday service.
Now, let me just tell you that I am not normally this person… or am I? I mean, I didn’t even blink before that rolled off of my tongue. What does that say of my heart? Sadly, I was unaffected by the stone I had just cast until my husband spoke up and shut me down. He came to her defense and I have never forgotten that conversation. Here I sit, 5 years later, still reflecting on his words.
He simply said, “What if she’s a stripper and someone invited her to church and this was her very first day? What if she was scared to death to come today because of judgmental people like you? What if that outfit is her Sunday best? What if she is a very successful woman and she just happens to love those boots?”
Umm… brake check.
I sat there hanging my head, feeling about an inch tall. I felt AWFUL because I am not normally that person… or am I?
I pray that I will always think before I speak and that I see the very best in people. I pray that if you are reading this and you have had second thoughts about going to church because of someone like me, that you would have a peace in your soul and walk through those doors anyway.
You may not even be there for yourself that day.
You may be there for someone like me.
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalms 139:23-24
❤
Tales from a Kopp 
Oh but my sister, your openness to correction serves you well. A true example of a heart striving to love God. “Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it.” Ps 141:5
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This spoke to me. Thank you. For helping me.
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And yet she was on the platform singing. Hahahahahah….
I thought that is where this arrival was going! Lol
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Wouldn’t that have been a gut punch?! Or if she had been volunteering and serving drinks to people like me! Yikes!
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Article*
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I find this rather comical since about a year ago I bought a pair of thigh high 6 inch platform boots and I wore them to church. Everyone teased me about wearing hooker boots to church and I laughed and said Hey they have a bad rep it is time they got a holy rap instead. 🙂 I just love those kind of boots and I was never a stripper or a prostitute just love the style. 🙂 God bless and thank you for this post it was fabulous.
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Be Humble and Kind is usually the best way. Especially when you’re walking into the church. Your husband was correct you never know what a person may be going through or what they were thinking about when the put those boots on. However, the one thing for sure they were meant to be there.
I too expect to read something like she ended up being the ministers wife or some type of commentary of what occurred inside the church.
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I was always taught that it’s not what you wear that counts, but what’s in your heart! Don’t judge a book by its cover, so to speak….
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You are so right! I should have known better, especially because I live that every single day. My husband is covered in tattoos and has earrings and a lip ring. That ALONE allows room for doubt in the minds of people that meet him for the first time. He is a wonderful man with a huge heart. ❤️
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Nah, you were right in the first place; inappropriate for church, she probably knew it too and she liked to dress to tittilate and get attention.
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Aw, you still don’t get it. That’s okay. It isn’t about what we wear to church; it’s about how we love others.
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Jesus said come as you are, Thank you for that post I really enjoyed it. It kind of hit me but in a different way I’m the women that could be scared to come back to church because of judgmental people, people that is holler than thou but can’t forgive. Great post thank you!
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I appreciate this article because my son has left the church because of being judged harshly and openly He simple wore all black but knew/knows the Bible more than many his age (19). However, after a year of going through that, he now refuses to attend a church. We pray daily for him and pray he will return but the hurt is real and he has found acceptance in other circles, and says he has no desire to return. He still respects us and has supported his dad when he preaches, but other than that he has no desire to enter a church again.
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I hate to read that. Many of us have been hurt by the church, and I can attest that it is very hard to overcome. I hope in time, he will come back. I will pray with you for that!
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Thank you for the reminder. No matter what her reasoning was for wearing boots like that to church, we all need to remember that church isn’t a showroom for the righteous, it’s a hospital for the sinners, and we are ALL sinners. We are ALL in need of God’s grace.
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This is true. It reminds me of something I read in “Ann Landers or Dear Abby” years ago. A young lady ‘s boyfriend died and on the day of his funeral. She was picked up by his friend who took her to the funeral, she was wearing a bright short skirt and shirt, with heels. When they walked in everyone looked at her, she turned to his friend and said ” I know everyone is looking at me. But this was his favorite outfit, and I wanted to look nice for him one last time.” We are easy to judge.
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Ooooh man!! That stung! Wow! Thank YOU for sharing that story with me.
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There are times when I need the same prayer. I think we all struggle with those attitudes, but it’s amazing how God uses people and His word to convict our hearts so that we will turn to Him! We must not beat ourselves up about our past attitudes, but surrender to God and let Him change our future attitudes.
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It’s always hard not to judge, for instance, earlier today I found myself judging someone’s intelligence on their ability to spell brake.
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Got me! Good lookin out!
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I was a stripper in my 20’s over 20 years ago now.. I am now 42 and washed by the blood and turned my life around after my first child who is now 21 was born. I had several hooker boots. One particular pair of hooker boots were gold thigh they cost me 200 dollars , They never stayed up right on my thighs, so I sold them to another dancer who worked at another club in a bad part of town, She danced with her Mom there. I tell you this to make the point, as a Christian, I would never ever wear anything like that. Anything that brought back those memories. And seeing those kind of boots brings up bad memories, and perhaps would for others that have left this, or maybe for the men that used to go strip clubs, or cause them to want to go back. I think when I see people wearing them, why do they not want to be set apart, why do they want to look like that. It breaks my heart when I see Christians looking like the sin sick world, and trust me stripping is sin sick! And I would have said the same thing, as you did , but I would have went and sought out that girl and prayed with her if she would allow. Yes, God looks on the heart, yes , maybe she was invited there, was a prostitute, her favorite boots, but as a former life stripper, I would have seen/ said that too. We are called to be holy set apart, not cause another to stumble, we give grace when it’s due, if she knew no better, etc , but as a Titus 2 woman in the church, she becomes our responsibility to mentor, love , and show the right way. I see many ” Holy” apostolic , Pentecostal, Christians wearing 6 inch stripper shoes. No makeup long hair, but they have on leopard print, exotic high heels. To me, it brings back bad memories, it reminds me of the life I try hard to be set apart from. And many would say ” it’s just shoes” well, it turns men on, causes them to lust. And are meant to look seductive. We give grace where grace is due, but on the flip side that girl maybe has been a church member all her life, has a rebellious heart and still needs guidance that she is a daughter of the King. Princesses don’t dress like strippers, they look And dress Royal, we are called to be Holy.
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Definitely another side to this. Thank you for sharing your story with me.
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Who determines the “right way” to dress? Many religions see different ways as the “right way”. I smachrustian but I also wear makeup, my hair isn’t long and I wear pants. Does this make it the “wrong way”? If someone invited you to church when you wre a stripper and you agreed to go, I highly doubt you would want to come back if someone approached you and asked if they could pray for you because of what you are wearing! She may not know that it doesn’t look appropriate to others, she might already feel self conscious because it’s all she had to wear. Isn’t it better that she’s there than what she’s wearing? Does the Bible not tell us to come as we are? Who are you to say her coming as she is isn’t the “right way”?
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(Correction)
*I am a Christian
*Who are WE (not just you) to say her coming as she is isn’t the “right way”?
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I used to attend Victory with my family before we left to help plant a new church. Victory has a ministry that goes into the strip clubs in OKC and ministers to the ladies there. It was not uncommon for them to come to church dressed, as some would say, “inappropriately “. We saw many of these ladies give their lives to Christ and make dramatic changes in their lives. To look down on them for the way they were dressed would have been selfish. Scripture clearly states that God does not look at the outward appearance of man, He looks at the heart. As Christians, our job is to show love to these precious ladies and make them feel valued and welcomed. The atmosphere at Victory was the most accepting and nonjudgmental church I have ever been around. I loved it and miss it still today.
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